Ameliorate

All of my poems read to see where damaged thoughts wonder, 

Possible insight into why it’s hard for me to sleep peace fumbled, 

Oh love I don’t think you know where my shadows show, 

Stop swearing with your eyes I don’t know if I’m any good, 

Honey you say I am but judgements in me differ greatly, 

Everyone has some grime accumulated, 

Be careful while you help don’t become tainted, 

Acquainted misery tales, 

Infected surely compromised by ongoing waves of fails,

But if you can help my visions tune my experiences to good, 

Teach me kindly please help me I think you should. 

/

Beautiful flowers die unseen every year I am not better, 

Poems written lyrics given no glance at all buried silently, 

She makes them a priority discovering views translating diligently, 

A fellow pen climbing in a book to save her character, 

Teach me kindly please help me I think you should show freedom against barriers. 

Blanket And A Long Hug

Bring attention forth when I drift off course

What I need is a blanket and a long hug 

Recharge to figure where I should go crossing off goals 

See I have wasted time on entertainment’s temporary fill

Programs rocking everyone to sleep but we’re walking 

I fell for it too

Detox circled in red on my schedule 

Providing pressing buttons lately 

My wallet empty with bills getting out of hand increasing distance 

Comfort zone too comforting 

Deep sleep then a revival to increase survival release denial finally 

Blanket and a long hug while I sleep 

Waking up. 

Fear Of Being Me

Maybe I’m not well or good enough to breathe 

Haunted by the fear of being me

When I look back I see wreckage mixed with large amounts of debris 

Yesterday I felt alive without being judged inside by the outside inside 

Yesterday I felt worthy of living now sometimes I’m not sure

Far from pure who told me lies I believed currently believe 

Throw important parts of myself away cannot be retrieved 

Even when I fought religious battles on knees 

Still ended up with a horrible fear of being me. 

/

A soundtrack playing lyrics blaring waste of space 

Twenty four news stations broadcasting past mistakes 

Poems allow for some comfort I empty my tank 

Dream of living how I want to if money stayed within my bank 

In the meantime work is earning enough money to come back another week 

Speaking up sounded important however these days I just want eight hours of sleep 

Denied there too

Fear of being me I hide to wipe tears off my shoes 

Living through motions a name buried loose unglued 

Fear of wasting time walking in the wrong direction 

Still standing without applying myself a bystander to my own reflection 

What do you think I see 

A fear of being me. 

Nighttime Medicine 

Sleeping is hard with my mind rambling on

Issues irrelevant pretending to be pressing,  so wrong 
Mind, would you stop being so damn dramatic 

All day to calculate failures, here you are impeding my sleep 

My lover is away, inches from eternity 

Sleeping really well as I scramble for resolutions yeah peace 

I really wish she would have given me medicine before resting 

Being touched by her love, well it eases my ways. 

/

Nighttime medicine from her hands onto me

Sweet dreams produced from her speech 

Loud moans bring significant memories and relief 

Relief from nights without sleep. 

Crash A Hole

Crash 

Crash silently they’ll never know 
Why reach out just lose control 

They’ll ask why you didn’t ask for help 

Tell them asking just reminds you nothing is left

Sleep hides when unknown feelings rise 

Murky water with tides a sinister prize 

Hints and tips ignored so why push harder 

Yelling impatiently for help weaknesses uncovered 

Instead a crash. 

/

Conserving air in despair going down straight faced 

Please don’t ask for billboards of these struggles 

Heavy load on fragile shoulders don’t stab deep requiring an audience 

Either we’re in together or fooling ourselves 

While this side rusts does the other get polished and protection 

While one side sinks does the other flourish untouched 

Ask why some suffer in silence refusing to speak 

Crashing while surrounded by peers asleep.