Life Split

As another day stands tall waiting for my interactions I take a deep breath 

Silence my ego playing imaginative futures pointless former talks estimating my tracks 

Settling into a routine hoping it’ll distract me from an onslaught of thoughts 

With my lover I’m focused on one side of life’s hallway 

Alone I try looking at planned movements to handle my days while looking at the other side 

Lights flickering unknown unrecognized sounds hit ears.  

/

Asked what I mean I explain how fighting the program going well 

I’ll work some place I can’t stand then return home in time for rest to do it again 

Highlight of my day is night and when night comes I hope for the end of said day

Drinking, overeating, drugs, sexual healing, hate, how do you deal with running in place 

Trying to set goals however they swear and laugh in your face 

Whatever it takes to numb the horror of feeling lost in mediocrity weekdays. 

/

Whatever it takes to repeat yesterday today 

Just thirty more years

Forty more years 

Whatever it takes to survive our personal gauntlets 

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