As another day stands tall waiting for my interactions I take a deep breath
Silence my ego playing imaginative futures pointless former talks estimating my tracks
Settling into a routine hoping it’ll distract me from an onslaught of thoughts
With my lover I’m focused on one side of life’s hallway
Alone I try looking at planned movements to handle my days while looking at the other side
Lights flickering unknown unrecognized sounds hit ears.
Asked what I mean I explain how fighting the program going well
I’ll work some place I can’t stand then return home in time for rest to do it again
Highlight of my day is night and when night comes I hope for the end of said day
Drinking, overeating, drugs, sexual healing, hate, how do you deal with running in place
Trying to set goals however they swear and laugh in your face
Whatever it takes to numb the horror of feeling lost in mediocrity weekdays.
Whatever it takes to repeat yesterday today
Just thirty more years
Forty more years
Whatever it takes to survive our personal gauntlets