Sorry Judy

The greatest mistake of my life was walking away from you laying in pain. 

Said it before and I’ll say it again I wish it was me instead. 

Tears beat my eyes asking why I was a fool running away like it would be okay. 

I almost hate myself when I imagine you asking for me. 

Almost ready to immediately get up and teach myself a lesson. 

Guess I had to fail you one last time. 

/

Sorry Judy, 

You know I had to fail you one last time, 

Ruin your life one last time,

Commit just one more crime so you would die knowing I’m a piece of shit. 

/

I better not cry when I’m left alone. 

Deathbed silently falling numb and still. 

I don’t deserve another second. 

Judy I never understood how much love you gave to a failure like me. 

Even when your God sent me to the reject pile you held on. 

Fought it and said no take me instead and I swear mother you shouldn’t have done that. 

I hate this world I hate this confusion I hate you dying. 

Nothing I can do can bring you back to see your other children smiling. 

/

Sorry Judy, 

You know I had to fail you one last time, 

Ruin your life one last time,

Commit just one more crime so you would die knowing I’m a piece of shit. 

/

What have I done? 

Why am I so broken? 

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