If Disowned

Garbage under your bed forgotten
Blood still and I’m absent
I’ve died reaching my hand for yours
Ignored after my beatings
Seasons came and nothing got better

My broken heart tapped out
Wrong planet to have feelings
Ceilings made of metal to remind
Any gods above or below mute
I’m trying to love recycle my anger for better purposes
No burial place me vegetation

Poems of mind flying mocking birds
Worn down I tried to escape
My destiny if such a thing exists shit
How do I know I never know
This joke far past offensive
My torture watching you live on
Nights of tears bitter weeping

Seeking logical explanations
Love disappeared entire foundation
Counting on us but so many enemies
Your family hated me threats and lost sleep
Belittled then told to disappear
Put the gun into my ear pulled that trigger
Under your bed I’m always with you now

Gruesome morbid I rather my life lifeless
Instead of wondering what you’re doing and with whomever
Yeah I imagine death better
Money and confusion pushing us back
Sanctuary unavailable I’m crumbling
Tumbling down possibilities us disconnected
Scaring hope I’m a fighter add lover
However I wonder if your love is deep
Crowds want me dead you’re outnumbered
So am I

Two adults in love told it isn’t enough
Arguments saying if we are together your existence nothing
I told you this world overrated
Deferred hugs mounted
Universe silent as I my face became serious
Last seconds no television program interruption

You didn’t race to save me and how could I blame
I’m everything and nothing paradox parallel
Guess my death equals keys to the cell family members put you in for loving an underdog
Fog no I’m clear I understand the consequences
Under your bed eyes open broken
Done and we both know it

They’ll probably make you clean my mess
Saying he’s better off dead you’ll agree
Too much fighting to be with your best friend
Guess the kisses were because you were horny not in love
I’ll paint in my bodily fluids why did you forsake

Shaken by injustice hate jealous old friends
Your time was our time together
My time was our time together
Wetter than water I placed my fingers inside you
Watched your naked beauty react
I ate between your legs gladly happily
Still no pictures of you and me hidden content
Your family celebrating my death
Bring balloons I’ll be watching
Withheld from my definition of an angel

Bet a picture on the wall saying goodbye nigger
My trigger finger, knives, and weaponry ready
Can’t do it because I’ll become the bad guy
Already guilty but untrue I really did and do love you
Speak up tell them when I was fucking you my exposed eyes exposed my mind
First doubts then you knew

Bastards pleased I couldn’t hold on without you but you’ll show them
Keeping my dead body under your bed so you can smell me at night
Keeping me close.


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