Undesirable

Placing crushes in the trash I don’t want any
All illusions anyway

Saying names in secret such vanity
I don’t belong anywhere to any of them

Longing to be touched but keep it underground
False hope steals focus

Imagining me in and out with sounds of our voices
Pointless and obscured plans to build

Looking to get away
No one has the same destination in mind
Hopes replaced with empty dark clouds promising rain
Delivering disappointment on time

My masturbation driven by friendly speech ceased
Can’t think of anyone to imagine now

Promises to talk all voided
Faces unavailable to me

We were going to satisfy our needs
Someone else appeared

Connected but unstable performance
Unreliability stubborn determined to persist

When I walk away
I am not noticed
Friendship blunts rolled up
Pulses in jeans
Right when I think we can cum outside
Evaporation when my mouth waters for taste
They leave and my sex drive aches

Lonely nights watching xvideos
Desires pumped up then no where to go
My hands the only consistent partner

So I threw away the looks
Messages of I’ll be sure to see you
I’m not ashamed or embarrassed
Just lacking the moments of orgasms drawing me close
To sanity

I don’t need any drugs we can throw them out
Sixty nine encounters would bring peace about
Yet I’m laying here so cold
Unwanted
Undesirable.

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