My personal teacher
Lesson I’m too far away to be heard
Far in a mocking distance
On my own in wilderness
Best way to survive is forgetting everyone
Making shelter under an unforgiving sun
Feeling drained as my batteries run down.
Songs created in my head for hours to keep some sanity
In class learning how insignificance can kiss
Cause erections until I’m scared stiff
Illustrate how loud oblivion can echo
Fuck me gently until this is finished and we let go
Detention in isolation the path for enlightenment
Lesson plan says being abandoned is a compliment
Well then I’m flattered way too much
Withering out of sight.
Silent treatment blues
Praying for glimpses of a better sky
I’m putting this failing fight in me to sleep
Reached for light only rewarded with deep dark adjustments
In other words air is dwindling similar to our contact.
Chances accelerating down huge hills
Unable to escape via pills
I’m dying while my angel watches
She doesn’t care as I surrender
Joyful noises below don’t exist
Imagine knowing you’ll never be missed.
What conditions are necessary to be in dreams again
Previously unstoppable, highly desired
How does a lover’s face turn into boring news
How do we turn into ignored valuables unworthy of touch
Told asking for attention is too damn much
Kept for experiments in abandonment
Wiping tears away before resentment comes
A dish once treasured now no one wants.
Sunset scrolling down faces awaiting absent kisses
Words are so pretty but we know it isn’t real
Excuses made but in the beginning no reasons were needed
Oh have you ever felt left on a shelf covered in dirt
Sold to find no sale
Like dark clouds without payment
Cold hands in the dark.
You already know the answer
Attention pours into emptiness
Wanting attention causes stress
Best thing to do is get quality rest
Turn over remembering to keep some of yourself safe.