Pretending Love Humans

I’ll lie on the record for your record, anything you want I’ll even be disrespected to stay connected

Sit while on fire to avoid fighting, when you ask if I was upset no means I’m lying

Only smiles and all smiles around here until you disappear and I finally find air labelled clear, breaking my heart tear after tear

Hidden punches to brick walls, coming clean worse than kicks to sensitive scrotum, balls

Pretending this is Paradise while simultaneously planning ending own life, obviously this is all my fault

Honey, I’ve got a giant safe locked in vaults, you’ll never find the real me unless your whole heart is involved

We know it’s not, I believed it was before but that’s been dissolved, cause of my new wrist cutting solved

Back to the pretending humans show after commercials for antidepressants and weed stop, we picked each other up but guess I’ve been dropped.


It’s okay, I’ll do it, sit down and complain how nothing changes while I wonder how we became strangers after conversations of power

Dragging my energy down by hours, emptying my bank account like hey I like being broke have you noticed lately that I need more smoke

Gotta keep this up, maybe one day you’ll truly give a damn but in the meantime I’m fucked so bad yeah I truly am

Damn whenever I try suggestions get two shots of whatever to the ears, or I don’t understand the language something isn’t coming clear, another replica of fears playing with my heart.


We’ll just pretend.

Say oh yeah it’s cool because otherwise I’ll get the sword again.

Neck off, headless.

Humans pretending on some kill me dead shit.

Love.

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Controlla Three

It wasn’t me

Perhaps influence seeped in via player three

Because I’d never think of myself before you

*Giggles*

Whenever you catch on

*Wiggles*

Now me first.

/

Me first

Focused on you so I can ignore improvement

Focused on you to do my dirty work clean and if you fail gotta go, change my dreams

Me first

/

It wasn’t me

Perhaps you pressed a wrong button

Perhaps you’re unplugged jiggle the connection

*Hides a controller under motives and speech*

*Thinks they’re so smart but this save will be cancelled by delete*

Puppet master bastards pressing buttons faster gotta get faster.

Drunk Rapping With A Burner

One perfectly aimed shot then I won’t be a burden

It’ll be finally working for my kids, released from anyone worried if I live

Pathetic attempts failed, I’m a piece of shit, Nas said it ain’t hard to tell

Oh well it’s been fun, been pricing, finally shooting a gun

Tired of one day speeches or so called prayer

Oh it’ll get better, manipulated in heaven’s lair

Dreams of the release, drooling three times sweet, want life but life isn’t interested

No pressure, no pressure, I know a woman much better, mysterious

One hit quitter, death but before aglitter touches.

Give Hands In Church

Teach me worth

Refuse dedication unless there’s a prize, tunnel vision shit, I’m dying, I’m sick

Whatever, never look to another for a lift, covered in curses, dirtiest pit

Writing energy to myself, better than using a sharp razor, it doesn’t help

Scars and scars, internal bars served as designer delicious burns, my heart turns grievously, I’ll learn hopefully now, failed previously

Erasing expectations in others, they have all failed faith causes cuts as one suffers, no warning if I decide I’m better under

Daily I wonder if death is the best final destination versus liars, sweet killers, government sponsored hate printed, glitter flyers, ignorant booming speakers.

*

Teach me worth

I’m negative, I’m in the negative

Marijuana then sedatives

Pointless like they say I am

Tell me your experienced being dammed and damned

Give hands.

Death Before Your Hug

Give away everything at this defining moment

Don’t say a word, arms placed down and stiff

Escaping tears pointless, are they ribbons of happiness

End near.


This is what you’ve been seeking while sleeping, depression creeping into sheets, masturbating defeat at sad swollen feet

Every week repeat, emotions leaning towards weak sadness winner full sweep, sweetness bitter as thoughts litter nowhere beach

Reaching out prevented by an impressive impending casket your god’s bastard thrashed, all of my hope cashed dented and dashed while no one above or below gasped

Humans and deities are trash

Death before my hug like drugs before happiness, fights before understanding, losing everything before a lover realizes what happened

Painting in blood of no lost blood while bleeding out, screaming at someone yelling please don’t shout, erasing a masterpiece to obtain peace secretly

Mad as in upside-down, box curricular instead or drowning around in circles, inside blue and oxygen LSD purple

End near.